Tell me.

Mirror mirror on the wall

Do you see magic beyond their walls

The ones they hide behind for their egos tall

Or do you see scars and pieces fall

What do you see, tell me

Tell me all

Let’s see if what you see

Is truly

Or nothing at all.

– Hiba. // wrote this about a month ago.

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Of humans and journal pages 

It was always a torture opening up in front of other human beings… Potential judges, weapons… which you feed with your own trust till they use it against you.

Pencils and papers were always my friends. Silent, open, blank, unbiased, and always on my side. Sometimes they even let me weep over them and smudge their pretty pages in ink and tears…

They never spoke a word against me. Never in my favour either really, but they let me fill them with my self. What could be a better commitment than to allow a human to completely fill you up…?

These pencils wrote a quadrillion words to express my pain and these pages absorbed ’em all like they were it’s own.

But then I stopped.

I found a person similar to that. I filled him and filled him with lots of love. I filled him till there was no more space to fill. He absorbed my pain just like the pages of my diary did. And he let me cry on him too. He did more in fact. He wiped those tears away for me.

But human beings are deadly weapons. They operate by choice and mood of their own.

All you have to do is load them up with your trust and your secrets. Tell them your flaws and your mistakes. Tell them your regrets and the truth about yourself and wait to see how the gamble turns out. More often than not they will shoot it all back together at you when you will be least expecting it.

They’re the revolver and your trust, the bullets. Tell them all your secrets and fill them with your trust and it will be the same as loading up a gun with bullets. Tell them more and more till there’s no space to fill them anymore and they’ll be a wholly loaded gun pointing right at you.

Now smile and say I trust you.

Soon after you’ll hear screams and find the paramedics collecting your traces off the ground.
 

– Hiba 

Dead silence 

I’m waiting now
Waiting to hear my sweet melody
The sound of their voice
The sound of their heart beat
Or the sounds that they make
In the innocence of their sleep
But there’s no melody any more
No music
No heavenly sound of their presence
Just dead silence

Fear 

Rest your head against their chest. 
Do you hear?
Their life beating through them?
Listen to it…

And you will know what fear is.

Oh! how fragile their life is…
To only live in heartbeats…
Your sweetest melody…

And how maybe one day you will lay against them like this
And wait for the sweet delicate sound of life
And God forbid…

All you hear is dead silence.

 – Hiba

Fear

Let us switch roles.. You wait for me and I never return
Translation: “Lets switch roles.. You wait and I never return”

I’m…scared…
…Of falling
…again

Oh how many there are…
So many, I cannot count.
So many, I could be heaven bound,
So many and yet I hide.

And run…
Can’t let anyone in…

And sweetheart, it hurts…
I wish I was as fearless as before.

Before you stole my firsts,
Before you tossed ‘em in the trash.
Before you broke my bones,
And let my heart crash.

And I have nothing now.

Just a step in front of me…
…I’m too afraid to climb,

And I guess this is what I’m gonna do…
Here is where I’m gonna stay,
Until the day I’m not afraid,
Until the day I could fall again…

These days I just look at my healed scars and feel afraid,
And the day I don’t, I will move on ahead.
…But until then too many chances will go amiss.

But that’s alright,
As long as my heart’s okay.

As long as no tears fall,
I will breathe.
And call it a life.

Goodnight, love.
I don’t miss you anymore…

Just wish you weren’t a thing in my life…
At least I wouldn’t hide,

From the things that were meant to revive…

 – Hiba

The Sun Still Shines

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Sometimes, you’ve just gotta let it pass
Let it slide

Remember all the smiles
Not the tides
That had ruined your lives

But the calm blue skies
And the sun that shines
While you still hide
In that awful place
Claiming the sun has died
And that there is no life
Outside of that messy pile
Wherein you hide

Oh but well, it is your loss after all

The sun can’t shine
On its own in your eyes
But it shines still and reflects in everyday smiles

Of that young man who falls
In love
With the sun’s inescapable shine every time.

 – Hiba // purely fiction

Lessons # 1

“As women when we fight for our rights in our struggle to stand next to men in total and absolute equality, men are not really the ones that defeat us; even though they are the ones that insult us and discourage us the most.
The ones that defeat us are in fact women…
Those women that side with men.
And you know what’s ironic? They side with men by standing behind men. Not beside them.”

– Hiba

Keeping it together

 cute

Half an hour

And a blank mind

A near mystery as to how I’m gonna write

Mind’s too full

Of stress and misery

After realizing that mine is not the only tragedy

Too many have got it tough

Too many and not much bluff

Only weary smiles

Tired exhausted eyes

Circles under their eyes

From all the stressful sleepless nights

And yet a faint twinkle in their eyes

And a rare sight

Of their healthy and full smile

From the hope of when it’s all gonna be alright

When the tables turn and let them guide

Each other into a wholesome endless light

Where all their dreams reside

Coming true after all this time

But first comes the sleepless nights

Where nothing is for them to set right

 And all things seem out of their might

And when the only thing that keeps them together

Is their relentlessly hopeful stride in life.

 – Hiba