And I’m trying…

ait6
Why doesn’t it have an effect on you? Why don’t you appreciate? When I make a mistake, it’s clear to you; though, when I try to make up for it, you don’t see…When I try to please you, you never notice. When I try to be good, you don’t care.
It would make a difference, if you would….It feels so pointless being good, when you don’t even notice it, let alone appreciate it. There seems to be no point in trying. But I keep clinging on to this tiny hope that one day, you might see, even though a part of me mocks me, saying ‘That person will never see. Give up, already. What are you exactly waiting for? For another insult to be thrown your way by that person?’
I don’t want to be insulted. It breaks me apart. I know I can be rude…But I’m just human. It’s me. I’m even willing to apologize, to change, to please, to do anything, just so you’ll notice. I’m trying…Really, I am. I want to be on top of the list of your most appreciated people. I crave the day when you will appreciate my hard work.
I try….And when I fall, I pick myself up…I keep walking with scraped knees, all the blisters still there…still aching from where I’ve been hurt…But I still keep trying…Hoping, that one day I will arrive to my destination in this desert which I’m starting to feel is just a like a dream…A mirage, probably.
But I think I can try…What have I got to lose?
And so, I’m trying…
ait7

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