Today’s families.

Why are we pretending? who are we trying to impress? Why are we faking it? Why are we going along with it when we know that there is no point in doing so? I know that you don’t really care anymore. You know that I know it, Then why are you still pretending to care? We haven’t had a heart to heart talk for about two years, then why do you feel that you know all about me? What is the point in having dinner together when we’re too busy watching TV or texting while we eat? We’d much rather eat seperate. What is the point in watching a movie together when we don’t even discuss our opinions about it?

Mom…Dad…I have everything that I want but I still don’t have the things that I need.  The attention that I crave of you; The exchange of kisses on the cheeks and I love you’s on the phone; The support I need to keep me on my feet; The encouraging words to keep me moving; A pat on my back to tell me that I’ve done well….But what hurt most is what I could’ve had when I was smaller…When you could’ve played hide and seek with me; when you could’ve told me bedtime stories and sung me to sleep; when you could’ve held my hand and taught me how to write….All of that is just going to be an unfulfilled desire, The time won’t come back…

You were so busy trying to make a better future, that you forgot the present amd made it as worse as you could….No bedtime stories, no lullabies, no hide and seek, and it was my tutor who taught me to write…Not my mom…Today, I find myself more comfortable among strangers that my family because strangers comforted me better than my own family….My family was, and still is a stranger to me because we never had those quality times with each other…And when we did, it was just for the sake of it.

Mom, Dad, I know you did this for a better future for me…but if I don not have a good today , how can you expect me to have a good tomorrow? You were so busy trying to make my future safe, that you forgot to secure my present and the dangers of it got to me. Now I’m already scarred, so what’s the point in a safe tomorrow? The scars will still be there tomorrow…

Our family is so broken now, and we’re not even trying to fix it. ‘Cause we’re too busy pretending that everything’s alright; Pretending that we’re a perfect family…But for whose sake? Not for ours, surely, because we already know that we’re not a perfect family…Then for who? The world? possibly….But what are we going to get by pretending for the world? Nothing…….NOTHING! So, why don’t we just drop the act and be honest about our feelings? Our feeling that we don’t care about each other anymore. We dont even know each  other. You never had the time to get to know me…You probably don’t even know my favourite colour….I don’t know you either, since you never gave me a chance to get to know you…All that we know about each other is that we don’t know each other. So, why are we pretending that we do? Stop the act ’cause it is just so pointless. It makes me feel like a fool. It would truely feel better if we just admit that we’ve made some huge mistakes and we do realise what it’s led to. Admitting it will possibly bring us more closer rather than by pretending…

And no, it’s not just our family that has had it’s fair share of mistakes. There are many other families out there making the same mistakes….It’s like knowing that there is going to be an earthquake but still pretending that everything is fine…And in the end we’re all doomed. So why not admit it to yourself and try to do something to protect yourself from the earthquake….The problems that most families face today are mostly beacuse of ignorance. Why not fix it rather than by being so egoistic. Why are you letting your ego ruin your relationship with your family?

And then, they say that today’s children don’t do anything for thier families…Rather they forget their parents in their oldage…I’m not saying that it’s fair to do that (It’s never fair to forget your parents while they need you so much). I’m only saying that you cannot really expect children who never got the attention of their parents when they needed it, to be all responsible about there relationship with their families. They never got the chance to experience family values because you never gave them the chance, so you cannot really expect that child to know all family values when hasn’t even experienced it….It’s like asking an uneducated man to solve a trignometry question for you…That man is uneducated, so how can you expect him to solve a math question for you?

This is the reason families break…’Cause today a professional status is more valuable than your families’ morals and values. The parents themselves bring it onto themselves, when they don’t spend time with their children since the beginning to teach them some morals, or to make them understand the value of a family.

And when your child forgets about you, is when the earthquake strikes. too late to teach them now….So why not start today while the earthquake is yet to come. Drop the facade of the perfect family and do something about the earthquake, now.

Though I have to say that parents realising their mistakes and making up for those is just half the story. ‘Cause if you think about it, the earthquake is in the hands of the children. If they are still angry or even upset enough to leave their parents in their oldage, the earthquake strikes. And if they let their parents approach them and if they forgive them, there is no need of the earthquake.

And the best thing to do would be to forgive our parents for whatever mistakes they made. It is never fair to leave our parents when they need us so much.

And anyway, if you think of it in the islamic perspective, the earthquake is not just for the parents, but for the children as well. Because Islam says to always be there for our parents whether we love them or not, and if we forget them and leave them when they need us so much, we’re definitely going straight to hell. And that would be the earthquake for the children.

The change has to come from both the sides. You can seriously not expect your relationship with your family to change if everybody does not try. And the children too, are a part of everybody. It may be hard, but I don’t think you want the earthquake to strike now, do you?

No, this is not really my story. I- Alhamdulillah- have very great parents who’ve always been there for me ( yes, they’ve been a bit aggressive, but they have been there, nonetheless ), since childhood. All that I am today is because of them and I greatly respect their tiniest bit of gestures of love that hold so much value to me. But I did think that this part of “children” being careless had to be explained a bit. Because sometimes we do contribute to it without realising.

Loads of love and peace to everyone out there! have a great day……err… or night, if it’s that 🙂

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