I had already known

I had already known how things would end,

I had already known of all this pain.

I had known the light would go out someday,

I had known we would have to part our ways.

I had tried to prepare myself for this,

For how I would feel without your bliss,

Of how I could contain my loud heartaches,

And how I would keep tears from running down my face.

And still here I am kneeling on the ground,

Banging my fists, I feel hell bound. 

The pain is here, I convulse in its agony

I wish for nothing more than for you to come back to me.

My friend, my love, the darkness awaits,

For me alone as my heart begins to race.

I never thought the dark would bring me such harsh pain,

Pain, and loneliness. I have nothing from it left to gain.

The comfort and solitude, all is gone.

I shouldn’t have risked this, I guess I was wrong. 

I shouldn’t have gotten into this deal we made

Look at the floor, what a mess we have made.

Shards of our memories, like broken glass,

Pierce my skin as blood stains the floor fast.

The seashells you gave me, scattered across the floor

As salt water from my tears forms another shore. 

And I drown in it, as my screams fill the room.

And I see your smile as beautiful as summer in full bloom.

You’re happy there in that other world you live in,

And my blood burns like acid in my veins.

It kills me, how pathetic I feel.

Don’t you remember, the promises you failed to keep?

How could you leave me alone in a world I don’t know of,

While you laugh along with that group of friends of yours.

But I had already known about this game.

I am truly the one that’s left to blame.

I risked everything, for you I took a chance,

But I swear it wasn’t me, I was in a trance.

I failed to think of the outcome of this,

I was the one who hurt herself through this,

Now I know to never trust you again. 

Or anyone for that matter. I won’t play this game again.

I’ve had enough of betrayal for a lifetime.

To trust someone to me now, is another big crime.

I already payed a huge price for this. 

I don’t ever want to fall into another trap or ditch.

As the darkness approaches, I cry harder in pain

It reminds me of the parts of you I never wish to see again. 

But as it gets darker, I see something twinkle up high.

I see stars so beautiful high up in the black sky.

I cry to them and then I silently weep.

Then after a long time I fall into a dreamless black sleep. 

– Hiba // I payed the price 

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4 thoughts on “I had already known

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