Memories are often vague. But I guess it’s better that way. ‘Cause when memories are as graphic and solid as photographs, they hurt.

I mean look at me. Quite a pathetic sight really. Clutching our old photograph in one hand and the other shaking in my blazer pocket. Gazing at that smile frozen on your face and that laughter in your eyes. Our hearts still unbroken. The distance still not in existence. Me right next to you with cake icing on my cheeks, looking awfully happy. That guitar you gifted me still intact in the background.

Oh this sight, really… The fact that we’re still stuck inside that time frame, that unbelievable glee still etched upon our faces, happy still inside this photograph… This hurts. The pain that rears in my chest breaks me as it spreads to the tips of my fingers, jolting me out of my wishful past and plunging me right into the reality of our present broken hearts and distances. The present where my guitar lies in heartbreaking shards of wooden pieces in some garbage dump from the night of our worst argument.

Look at this photograph! Those arguments and heartbreaks still undone. A terrible memory of how beautiful everything was! Our love for each other still intact. Not a scratch on the beauty of your soul… Our stainless beautiful smiles…

And look at us now. Outside this photograph. Our souls ripped in places. Our smiles stained with sad and empty eyes. Our love so horribly damaged.

Oh look at the sight of me! Breaking before a photograph! What a joke…

I hope you have our photographs too… I hope you haven’t disposed of ’em yet… I hope you break before them too. I hope your present hurts you just as much as mine does. I hope you feel pathetic too. I hope you cry at least once at the sight of our photographs. I hope you cry over it too. Over the heartbreaking beauty of our love frozen inside a photograph.

This post was inspired by Ed Sheeran’s Photograph.

– Hiba.


30 thoughts on “Photograph.

  1. Well I guess you’ve got a good point. Yes, that’s true as well. But I think the pain of seeing such solid memories on a photograph is much more of a pang.
    But the thing about memories is that they hurt regardless of what form they may be in.
    Thanks for the read though 🙂

    1. Not a fan of photographs of any kind tbh. But the memories have driven me to dark more than solid materials would have ever done.
      PS interested in ghazals?

      1. Not really. I mean I know a good piece when I hear one but I struggle a bit with Urdu… It’s a graceful language though. I guess I’m just not as graceful when I speak it, lol.
        My dad listens to ghazals often. I remember one time I was in the car and my dad was supposed to drop me at my examination venue and I was busy revising and he was listening to some Mirza Ghalib ghazals in the car… I had my religions exam that day and I was more distracted by what Ghalib had to say about religion. I remember thinking “Screw this textbook, let’s actually listen to this genius man make genius statements.”
        There’s irony in that man’s words.
        It’s poetic of course and I’ve realized that I’ve found Arabic and Urdu poetry way more ironic and worth pondering over than English poetry. English poetry or maybe English poets In themselves are too shallow. Plus Arabic and Urdu are quite rich languages. So it only makes sense that their literature is much better. Not that I’m an expert, but even catching little snippets of ghazals here and there or blows me away for how graceful it sounds.
        But I haven’t yet given it a shot myself. I just heard a bit on television or in the car.
        You can recommend anything you want though. I’ll give it a shot maybe if I feel like discovering something new 🙂

  2. Aha, well I am from Pakistan and I can speak fairly good Urdu. The kind that is polite and in line. But I struggle a bit with vocabulary. I don’t understand most Urdu vocabulary. Like you know when my dad switches to Pakistani news channel, and they give the headlines in pure Urdu, I fail to understand the details, although it gives me some shrewd idea of the thing that’s going on…
    And in the reading and writing of Urdu, I find the Urdu alphabet quite annoying. They have the different letters with the same pronounciation. What’s the point? It just confuses me even more.
    I find Arabic easier because every letter in Arabic is different. Most people who haven’t learnt arabic from the Arabs might not realize this though. People think that Urdu and Arabic pronounciation a are the same…
    And so every time I read Urdu I get agitated and annoyed about how the letters are being mispronounced in Urdu and how Arabic is so much better. It’s immature though. I mean they’re different languages after all. It’s stupid to compare…
    I’m also quite slow in reading Urdu…
    And my long replies… Well I guess I just talk a lot when I write. 🙂

      1. Hahaha i knew it :p music might help tho… And it must be holiday there, so i can feel your bore here even

      2. Only if you or your ammi makes good fish :p if not, ticket will be wasted and all the effort too :p
        PS i can settle for good kaddu too :p

      3. Hahaha, we hardly make kaddu. And my mum doesn’t make fish. I do. And there’s the best dessert in the world waiting in our fridge for you.
        That is if you like European desserts.

      4. 😂😂
        Yes okay. My mum will be delighted to have an unknown visitor from Pakistan. 😂😂

      5. Thats a bliss i have heard from so many people that it feels heaven to meet a Pakistani when u are abroad… I will bring the pepsi ok? Ok.

      6. Pepsi? Oh yes yes that’s what everyone does in Pakistan. They bring
        Pepsi when they visit. I remember.
        Why though?
        Why do you people prefer to give each other Pepsi?
        We usually take dessert. At least it’s healthier.
        Actually not many people here drink cold drinks much. Except for the Arabs of course.
        We get cold drinks for dinners though. That’s the one day we allow our families to have cold drinks. Like today. So we already have Pepsi. 🙂
        And Kuwait has a lot of Pakistanis too. Mostly people from Lahore. A few Karachiites too.
        You won’t be much of a surprise. But come still. You’ll meet other Pakistanis here 🙂 🙂

  3. Yes ok. And yes my mum and in fact all of us and even the Kuwaiti government will wwe if you bring champagne 😂
    Yeah ok tell me whenever you come so I can make you your dessert 😊

    1. Ok done :p as soon as i am rich :p
      PS you will make me dessert and i will cook for you myself. I cook yummy dishes myself 😀
      Just hope the kitchen wont shut the door on me like people do :p

      1. Naah. I love when people help me in the kitchen. It’s fun to be in the kitchen with friends. Even the work begins to seem fun 🙂
        So no the door will not close on you. 🙂

  4. Love frozen inside a photograph, beautiful words. The story seems unbelievably real, I don’t know if it is or not. You have written it so perfectly. Memories always hurt, photographs just remind you of them again and again, even when you don’t want to remember those memories. So it is better to move on, better not to cling on to memories and better to rip apart those photographs that make you cry.

    1. You’re right. I have a thing where I tear and burn all those things that hold painful memories for me. Even my journal some times.
      This is not a real story or incident though. Just my feelings put inside an imagined situation.
      Thank you Lala for reading 🙂

      1. Thank you Maria. I’m sending loads of prayer.
        Wow, the two of us can start a shipping company. We’ll ship love and prayers and cupcakes and apple pies and warm hugs 😀

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